i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i believe in u and ur pee
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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