oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize