I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he shaved USA in his pubs
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
