boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Randomize
