i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
