I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
