Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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