JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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