i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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