we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
