STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize