You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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