I'm eating all of the evidence.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
