what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
