4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
