She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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