There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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