R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
