I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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