maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
