dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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