He felt like a one man threesome
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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