at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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