Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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