What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I love you.
Bad choice
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