I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
