I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
