It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
