How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
