plz talk dirty to me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
