She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
