love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's the barista slut.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
