We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
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opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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