This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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