so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
