Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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