Where did you get a picture of my penis
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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