It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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