i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
