STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
