We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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