my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
