I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
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The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize