it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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