i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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