You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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