He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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