he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
