your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
