She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
