Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
