so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
