he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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