'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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