Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
