if i died would you start the facebook group?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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